Extraterrestrial Broadcasts!

<Artist’s Rendering of E.T. from the popular movie>

Incoherent Extraterrestrial Transmissions from the stormy seas of the Sun shut off all cellphones for several hours yesterday. Experts say that these broadcasts are not like Terrestrial ones.

“…not like Terrestrial transmissions…”

If Alien in origin, then the minds that sent the signals must be very different from our own.

“…These ‘broadcasts’ are not like Terrestrial transmissions – they are incoherent…”

Experts say that the Sun is variable. Who controls this variation in the storms of energy is still unknown, though they may be the same intelligences which built the pyramids.

“…still unknown…”

Are we being warned that the End is near? Or are our creators finally returning to show us the way to the next world? Only time will tell.

My Cheating Heart  

Having trouble keeping track of your lovers? Don’t feel ashamed, you may not be the only one. The Examiner has recently come into an interesting bit of information regarding that very subject. It seems that Ressa Miles, a veterinarian and animal psychologist at MetroZoo, who is only in town on her 4-year grant study program, has given birth. The baby’s name? Kore Miles Gunn. Yet, the Examiner has found Ms. Miles hanging around with vocal star Jason Ballew much more than any other male companion. The Examiner has to ask…who’s the father, Ressa? Its interesting to note that the baby’s last name, Gunn, is different from both Miles and Ballew, hinting that perhaps not only is Ressa hanging out with guys 8 years her senior (he’s -36- Ressa!), she isn’t sure whose baby this is. Do not fear, loyal readers – the World Examiner will have the answers!

Ruth Peterson

World Examiner